f#&% dating

ok. so I did the most humiliating thing anyone could ever do in this 21st century…& joined an online dating app. Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd. I admitted that out loud – it is real. I am pathetic.

It’s been 5 days since I’ve joined and I’m in the midst of actively talking to 7 guys. SEVEN. Like the same number of deadly sins Dante talks about in his epic poem. I’ve never moved at this lightening speed rate before. I feel like I’m in my own Bachelorette show – except there are no cameras rolling, no Chris Harrison to obviously point out that only one rose remains – just a lot of sloppy exchanges of empty promises.

& thus far – online dating has reinforced everything I already know about regular dating.

  1. there are no men
  2. the men that are left … lack major social cues. cues like maybe don’t:
    1. post a bathroom selfie
    2. write  shit like “computer nerd by day and a rockstar by night”
    3. spell hilarious – “halarious”

this is all to say – there is no hope, ladies. better work hard at breaking that glass ceiling because the days of trapping a breadwinner husband who doesn’t disgust you are long over.


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