f#&% vulnerability

This blog has become a blog PURELY about dating. The name of this blog doesn’t EVEN MAKE SENSE ANYMORE. Whatever, there are more important things to talk about right now. Namely, I FEEL SO VULNERABLE.

I went on another date with the Pharmacist. HOLD UP. HEYYYYY.

He asked if I would be willing to re-do another first date since I was so traumatized from his tongue injection. &  I was like “aww, okay” because I am currently emotionally needy enough to gobble up any crumbs of affection. Fast forward to yesterday where we were both nervous as hell. He stuttered. I repeated repeated myself over and over again. It was messy. The conversation…less spectacular. But that’s to be expected, right? Like how much can you possibly say to a stranger before you run out of surface level topics? Or am I suppose to start dragging the skeletons out of my closet on Date 3? SOMEONE TELL ME. DEAR LORD, CLUE ME THE HELL IN.

Online dating seems very ‘high risk, low reward’ to me. One moment you’re Therano’s Elizabeth Holmes – highly valued, crazy desirable, on top of the FREAKING world. Everyone is just BEGGING to be seen with you. Your options are…basically ANYTHING. BUT THEN…some twat reveals that you have cellulite on your thighs and have questionable excuses for not exercising. All of sudden all your suitors are like “BAI!” Then 6 months later, you find yourself firing all your employees and somehow…okay this is where the analogy breaks down. But you get my point. Dating is very unstable. This, in turn, makes me very unstable.

I. am. unstable.

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