I need to end things with Crypto$Man.
When I’m with him, I feel so admired. And then the moment we part ways, I feel so incredibly dispensable to him. I’m not sure if this is actually a personal reflection of my self-worth or an accurate assessment of how he sees me/our relationship.
It’s strange to want someone you are not even sure you like to ADORE you. But, I feel this way with Crypto$Man. While I was initially captivated by his accolades and confident ambition, I am finding myself less and less intrigued by his braggy work stories. I used to re-tell these same narratives to my friends but found myself constantly needing to give a disclaimer along the lines of, “I swear this didn’t sound this pretentious when he told it.” While that may still be true (I am an admittedly an awful storyteller), I feel like the more accurate cause is that I was totally blind to his personality flaws. Even now thinking back – I can’t tell if he’s trying to impress me or simply clueless on how he sounds to others?
Regardless, the mixture of my doubt and my quest for self preservation in this unstable relationship is making me come to the conclusion that ending everything before anything can begin is the best solution. The question is when. When is a good time for break-ups?